Top 7 Challenges and Solutions for Parenting a Toddler and Newborn
In a method, I felt like I used to be dying a sluggish demise. This was purported to be a joyful and harmonious time in our lives. But, caring for a toddler and new child challenged me in methods I by no means anticipated.
I used to get my toddler fastened up with an exercise after which sit all the way down to nurse the newborn. I’d lastly have her settled and drifting off to dreamland, and a few seemingly minuscule factor would go improper with my toddler’s toy, sending him right into a full-blown toddler tantrum.
Now the toddler and new child had been each screaming. Every diligent effort I put into preserve the peace was undone in a matter of seconds.
Actual options for parenting a toddler and new child.
You might be parenting two kids who’re very demanding in fully alternative ways. Your 2-year-old isn’t listening as a result of he’s present process the best mind improvement of his life.
Then there’s the newborn. She has wants too: feeding, sleeping, comforting, bathing. The change from the womb to the skin world is as difficult for her as it’s for you.
You need to meet the wants of each kids, however they each appear to concurrently demand your consideration, leaving little room for peace and concord. To not point out the entire jealous sibling factor…
Listed below are seven REAL options to frequent parenting challenges throughout the toddler and new child section:
Problem #1: Toddler acts aggressively in direction of new child.
It by no means surprises me when an older sibling (particularly a robust willed toddler) acts aggressively in direction of a new child sibling. Toddlers expertise a giant life change when a new child baby sleepsuit comes into their world. The whole lot that was as soon as theirs is now shared, together with mother.
You’ll be able to assist your toddler discover ways to work together peacefully by way of easy teaching. I virtually all the time use a Language of Listening method in most of these conditions.
When a toddler acts aggressively, you need to calmly, but confidently intervene utilizing the least quantity of bodily boundary to maintain each youngsters secure. This can be a hand or an arm to forestall your toddler from doing hurt. Then you can begin teaching your baby to make a more sensible choice. It would sound one thing like this:
“You actually need to chew one thing proper now. You’ll be able to chew this pillow. Or you’ll be able to chew this toy.”
“You might be getting very near your sister. She doesn’t prefer it. These touches are too tough. You’ll be able to hit this pillow. Or you’ll be able to hit the chair.”
You too can level to the article that’s secure on your baby to chew or hit. Non-verbal communication works brilliantly with emotionally revved toddlers.
Every time your toddler makes a more sensible choice, hitting, biting or kicking an object relatively than his sibling, title these strengths.
“You hit the chair as an alternative of your sister. That reveals self-control.”
“You bit the pillow as an alternative of the newborn. That was a secure alternative.”
By redirecting your baby’s anger and frustration to a more sensible choice, you assist them launch all of the pent up emotion whereas nonetheless preserving each youngsters secure.
Associated: 15 Finest Methods to Handle Aggressive Conduct in Toddlers
Problem #2: Toddler and new child preserve you from getting out the door.
Throughout massive life adjustments, youngsters depend on routines, rhythms and schedules greater than ever. Protecting a constant routine will anchor your baby and breed cooperation all through the day.
- Put together as a lot as potential the night time earlier than, packing the diaper bag, setting out garments, and many others.
- Estimate how lengthy it can take you to depart the home within the morning, then double it.
- Comply with the identical morning and bedtime routine (when potential) to assist your youngsters know what to anticipate.
Associated: Get my free e-mail collection on making a routine that works!
Problem #three: Toddler acts like a child.
As soon as youngsters attain the toddler years, we frequently hear mother and father begin utilizing phrases like “C’mon, you’re a giant boy!” when toddlers attempt to act like a child.
Sadly, many mother and father discover that this doesn’t achieve cooperation from the toddler, nor finish the facility wrestle. And right here’s why:
Toddlers expertise overwhelming emotions when a new child is launched to the household. They see the particular person they love most in the entire large world shifting their consideration to a brand new, seemingly extra necessary little particular person.
In an try to re-gain your love and a focus, a toddler might act like a child. Probably on the ground of the grocery retailer, when you’re trying out. Not that I’ve private expertise.
Your toddler wants your assist to course of. A simple method to do that is to–lightbulb second–enable your baby to behave like a child throughout a secure and handy time.
Put aside 15-30 minutes to play together with your toddler when your partner is round or your new child is napping and permit your toddler to behave like a child. Make a sport out of it. Rock him, feeding him, coddle him–similar to he’s a child for 15-30 minutes.
There’s a superb probability this little play session will likely be sufficient to fill his connection tank, assist him course of, and encourage him to behave extra like a “massive boy” in public.
Associated: Two Phrases That Will Tame Mood Tantrums – Each Time
Problem #four: Toddler is jealous of the new child.
That is so regular and anticipated. To your baby’s total life, he dominated the roost. He was your satisfaction and pleasure, and there have been no different kids getting in the way in which.
Now, a child is current. And never solely are you specializing in the newborn, you aren’t feeling all that affected person together with your toddler as a result of–woah–you simply had a child.
A lot of a toddlers performing out throughout this time is said to intense feelings across the change. You’ll be able to assist your baby course of and transfer ahead utilizing empathetic parenting. It could sound one thing like this:
“You would like all the things would return to the way in which it was earlier than. You would like you had mommy all to your self and that the newborn wasn’t right here. Now, mommy takes care of the newborn and also you need to play. This isn’t going the way in which you wished it to. That is exhausting.”
You’ll be able to change the phrases to go well with. Crucial factor is to empathize together with your baby’s state of affairs and assist them really feel heard, even when it appears illogical to you.
Problem #5: Toddler is interested by breastfeeding / bottle feeding.
Hey…no worries right here. Embrace the curiosity. Use actual names for physique / bottle elements (nipple, breast, areola, bottle) and permit your toddler the possibility to know.
The extra you clarify and share, the extra you’ll quench your baby’s curiosity, and he’ll transfer on to extra fascinating issues–like consuming stale crackers off the ground.
You too can enable your toddler to breastfeed / bottle feed a doll. That is extremely harmless for each girls and boys. And you can even confidently clarify, “That is how the newborn eats. You eat drink with a cup and eat with a spoon. The infant eats with a breast / bottle.”
Problem #6: Toddler gained’t share something with the newborn.
This goes again to jealousy from Problem #four. All of the toys and issues that your oldest baby had within the house was perceived as theirs.
Now that the newborn is current, the kid nonetheless thinks all of the toys, child’s toys, child’s blankets, and many others. belong to him. That is regular and anticipated with the toddler and new child transition.
When it looks as if sharing won’t ever happen, keep in mind that truthful doesn’t imply equal. Your toddler might take a toy from the newborn, however in fact, the newborn might get pleasure from and study simply as a lot from watching the toddler play with the toy.
You’ll be able to coach your baby in these sharing conditions utilizing a Language of Listening method. It could sound one thing like this…
“You took her toy. She doesn’t look very completely happy. See her face. She’s frowning and appears unhappy. She doesn’t have something to play with.”
Then pause for a couple of seconds and permit your baby to right their very own habits. If he doesn’t self right, supply him one thing he can do.
“You may give her the toy again. Or you could find one other toy she may like.”
When your toddler finds an answer to the issue and each youngsters are completely happy, title these strengths.
“She likes the toy you gave her. She’s seems completely happy. You discovered a approach to make it work.”
Problem #7: Toddler regresses in sleep, potty coaching, mealtime.
This goes again to problem #three when your toddler acts like a child, which you could possibly additionally view as regression.
Your toddler is searching for assured management greater than ever. Youngsters take a look at boundaries, searching for you to indicate them what the foundations are. Throughout a really chaotic time of their lives, they need to know that you simply’ve bought this!Posted on: November 7, 2019, by : admin